RED

I’m really sorry mater Wolf, it wasn’t me I swear!

It was my grandma, seeing you in her underwear!

Next time in the woods don’t follow little reds

How about blues or pinks instead

My mamma said see granny it will do you good

Take this food platter and and take it through the woods

Take the good path for happy little girls

Don’t take the bad path that has bad luck wells

I only did what she told me to do

I couldn’t do the wrong thing if I wanted too

So I hopped on my bike and started riding

Whizzing past, my red cape gliding

You must have heard me coming by

Because on the path you swapped the sign!

The good path was pointing to bad

And the other way around, what a nasty young lad!

The bad path I went I followed I did

But it was when you sniffed me, ooh ‘The Kid’

When I encountered you I let out a sigh

I went on the bad path why, oh why!

You gave me a smile with those big chunky jaws

And said is that food yours?

I nodded in reply, I can’t speak to strangers

My mamma said it is their smarts and dangers

You asked me where are you off to

I thought really hard so I pointed the truth

I pointed to the distant cottage where my grandma stays

The next thing I knew you were off and away

I didn’t know where you went so I followed the trail

I didn’t hear in the distant a petite grandma wail

I eventually got to the cottage and knocked on the door

I didn’t hear an answer, I did hear a roar

I let myself in and looked around

Everything was perfect safe and sound

When I got granny’s room I saw you

Under the covers wearing shoes

I asked, my what big eyes you have!

And you said all the better to see you with

I asked, my what what big ears you have!

And you said all the better to hear you with

I asked again, my what big teeth you have!

All the better to eat you with!

What, wait, uh oh, run is what I thought

Before I was almost caught

But then out of nowhere granny jumped out

I saw her a second ago did I see her?

‘Granny’ I said well I sorta had to shout

Where have you been?

Apparently she’d been knocked out

By you I supposed I had to be

It couldn’t be anyone else including me

YOU were about to pounce on my beloved ma

When a wood cutter came in not very far

He took out his axe and cut you in half

He could only do one thing and that was to laugh!

I really felt sorry for you I did I swear!

But for a wolf there’d not much to care

I ate you for dinner with extra salt

So as you can see it was not my fault

Little Red Riding hood

To Mr Wolf who’s grave is in the woods